"A Captain America & Loki Fangirl"

One of the funnest quirky perks of my job is "getting paid to check out [insert fangirl crush de jour here]". The phrase was first uttered, re: Caspian, and made my [guy] friend's eyebrows raise dramatically. His response cracked me up even more than my own offhand comment had, and I've played with it ever since. When I'm checking out said items (and let's face it, they're almost always DVDs) to patrons I've got a good rapport with, sometimes I'll make comments about said movies or characters. For example:

One of the regulars came in and checked out Captain America, and I was like "Captain Americaaaa" (at the time of this writing, and the exchange, I'm under the influence of a hotdog-induced migraine. Life is interesting). She asked if I liked the Avengers, and my enthusiastic reply: "Oh yeah. I am a Captain America and Loki fangirl!"
She looked at me in disbelief, before asking "Loki?!"
I laughed, and confessed "yep, Loki."
"But he's horrible! So -- so -- mean!"
"I know, but ... he's Loki. I just love him. I have from the beginning when I read the myths -- but yeah. Loki."
We then talked about the viewing adventure of the whole Avengers cannon, and I've seen Thor: The Dark World, but she hasn't yet, so she asked if Loki managed to redeem himself, somehow, in that one.
"Mmhmm, yep. He does," I smiled.
She left still not quite certain about my choice of fangirl crushes, teehee.

Then I started thinking, because it's quiet this afternoon (Wednesday, if you're curious), and like I said, I've got hotdog hangover going on ... and it's a thought I had last week actually, when I was watching Thor: TDW, and that is this ... The whole Captain America/Superman fangirl thing I have going on? It's totally at odds with the Loki/Han Solo thing. They're like sun and shadow, chocolate and salt. And yet ... it also sort of works.

Think about it: Captain America and Superman? They're the Nice Guys. The really, really Nice Guys. Chivalrous. Honorable. Trustworthy. Straight-arrow types. The kind you're really happy to take home to meet the parents and grandparents. Often underrated and under-appreciated, these are the guys who make you feel safe and cherished and content. The older I get, the more I appreciate the Nice Guys - both on screen and page, and in real life.

Now please take a gander at Exhibit B: The Bad Boys. Loki, Han Solo, Flynn Rider ... We first meet these guys and they're scoundrels. Conflicted. Not necessarily dudes your parents are going to approve of. And yet, there's more to them than the "villainy" (that's a fun word). There's depth. Layers. Heart. They've got histories that have shaped them, and character development that takes them ... beyond. There are a lot more Loki, Han and Flynns in the world than Cap'n and Supermans. Sadly.

I'm not sure where this thought is taking me, actually ... Maybe I just like talking about my fangirl crushes. My cast of superheroes ... But it's interesting all the same. And that's what Friday ramble posts are all about.

Next week, I'll be sharing my answers for the Writing Process Blog Hop thing going on, I was tagged by Jennifer Becton!

The Beast: The Quest for Beauty

Today's post is part of a blog tour among a handful of Janeites who also love Disney heroes and movies. We call ourselves the TangledJaneites, and enjoy watching movies together via twitter - who cares if we're spread from East to West coast, and points in between? Technology makes miracles happen, my friends. For more reading fun, make sure you check out their blogs: Jess is tackling Prince Phillip @ Narnia Mum, Kaydee's covering Naveen @ For the Love of Austen, and Nancy called dibs on Flynn Rider @ Austen Aspirations!

If you're a regular visitor to this (sometimes eclectic) blog, you may have picked up on two things: My not-so-secret love of fairy tales, and my fondness for the sometimes-unexpected Hero. (If you haven't noticed, or are brand new, then consider yourself forewarned: it's all true!) And today? Oh happiest of First-Day-of-Summers! I get to combine the two and talk to you about my favorite Disney hero: The Beast!

I've always been a fan of Beauty and the Beast, ever since I was a little girl and got to see it in theatres when it released. ((Random interjection: I feel really, really old as all these Disney movies are hitting big anniversaries, and I can remember seeing them when they came out...)) But I didn't realize how much the story meant to me - as a girl, as a dreamer, as a reader and writer - until a few years ago. There's a beauty to the story 'Beauty and the Beast' that transcends what Disney was able to do. That's not saying I don't absolutely love their version, because I do. When I realized it was coming back to DVD in November, I was counting the days until I could buy it. And I got the soundtrack with Christmas money. Shoot, sophomore year in college, I learned and performed 'Beauty and the Beast' as my jury piece for Piano. So I am definitely a fan of Disney's production. There's a reason the Beast was my hands-down-favorite Disney Hero for decades! He reigned supreme and unchallenged until I saw Tangled for the first time - and then, even though Flynn Rider gave him major competition, the Beast still ranks first. (Flynn's a close second, but history equals extra points).

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about why I like - no, love - the Beast. Trying to look at it from the beginning, when the Disney version was the only one I knew. Finding it a little trickier than you'd think - in the last two years, I've read several versions of 'Beauty and the Beast', as well as several versions of 'East of the Sun, West of the Moon' (Nordic fairy tale which is very, very similar - it's awesome, you should check it out!). So there are a lot of "Beasts" hanging out in my head. Er, that sounds stranger than it should. Back to the topic at hand ... I've come to the conclusion that I cannot fully separate Disney's Beast from the other Beasts - the Beast is who and what he is because of his place in the story, and the story isn't just one simple version: it's a greater entity. That's why it's a fairy tale, and is revisited and rediscovered so often. There's a truth to it, a quest for beauty - and belonging - and love, that we all can recognize. The Beast just happens to be the amazing hero in our story. And while all of this is in my head, and heart, and I know it's the story that makes the hero - I do want to look today at Disney's Beast exclusively. Well, as exclusively as I can, of course.

So who is the Beast? Why do I love him? He's big and rough and hairy. Not human, but not really animal either. He's got a horrible temper and got in his predicament by being selfish and shallow. He lives in the middle of nowhere in a creepy castle that's full of inanimate objects with personalities and voices. By all accounts, this should be the Crazy Character or Villain, right? Especially when juxtaposed with the "Perfect Specimen" of Gaston. But the Beast is more than his circumstances. Yes, he started out as a spoiled brat Prince, but when he became The Beast, he was forced to learn to be human. He had to learn to love, but he also had to learn to appreciate and value beauty. True Beauty.

I think the Beast started changing the moment Belle said she'd stay in place of her father - she was giving him a real-time lesson in how to live and love. It was like nothing else he knew, and he was intrigued. He still had a long journey before him - they both did - but it started that moment. You can see it in his eyes: if Love like that really was possible, then maybe - just maybe - he stood a chance. Maybe this crazy-brave slip of a girl was the key. Sure, she tried his patience and provoked his temper. But in Belle, he had an adversary worth fighting for - she stood up to him, and he wanted to earn her trust, her respect, her love. Here's where I started falling in love with him as a Hero.

 If I started falling for the Beast when Belle decided to stay, then I was head-over-heels by the time he appeared at her side in the snow, risking everything to defend her against the wolves. Why? Why did he do it, why did he follow her, why would he put his own life (enchanted though it be) on the line for a girl who'd run away from their agreement? Because he recognized in her someone he wanted to be. Because he was somehow repaying the debt, evening the score, restoring the balance - and following her example. Belle gave her "life" for her father - the Beast offered his for hers. At this point, he's not really aware of how he feels about her, but something deep inside knows this is right - and he is rewarded by Belle's return to the castle, and another chance.

From here, the story plays out as you'd expect: they learn to trust each other, learn to communicate, learn to love - even though it's not confessed mutually, you can see it. Especially when he lets her go -  for years, those wiser than me have said that True Love is letting someone go when that's what's best for them. Even though Belle's departure - before the words were spoken - spelled his 'doom,' the Beast let her go. When she reaches up and touches his cheek in parting - my heart breaks a little. You can see the love in his eyes, and the effort the sacrifice cost him. He's reached the turning point, and his whole future lies in the hands of Belle. I love that as big, strong and powerful as he is - he is dependent entirely on the power of Love.

But I keep coming back to the question: Why? And the closest I can come to fully answering is - because he is. He is imperfect and 'horrible' and has a host of issues. But he fights back, he refuses to let his past determine his future, and he recognizes that he must change. When he finds a Lady worthy of winning, he does try - awkwardly at first, but practice makes perfect. Underneath all the fur and teeth and snarling, he has a heart of gold, waiting patiently for the moment it can be revealed. And yet, he wins the heart of his lady before his human magnificence is restored. He wins her trust, her respect, her love - as a Beast. I guess it's the ultimate fairy tale, really, showing the power of love to see beyond the appearance, and finding your heart's answer in an unexpected place. This is a fairy tale anyone can relate to, with a Hero who just may be waiting for you around the next corner - probably not a hairy animal-ish thing, but surprising? Definitely.

Why do I love the Beast? Because he reminds me that sometimes Heroes are not riding white chargers or tromping around in big boots looking Princely. Sometimes Heroes are right there, hidden behind a 'disguise of enchantment', and maybe - just maybe - I need to open my eyes to see past what I see. Plus, let's be honest, how can you not love a Hero so big, strong and furry? He'd totally keep you warm in the winter. And, he's got a sweet castle - I want the library, and the room they waltz in, 'k?thanks! Ahem. Not that those reasons are superior to his heart or character, I'm just sayin'.

This post has gotten long, but exploring the idea of the Beast, and why I love him so, is an interesting one ... Don't forget to check out the other blogs! We're each covering a different Disney hero!

Han Solo: Epic Hero, Flawed Man

Happy Valentine's Day!

On this day dedicated to love of all forms and varieties, what better to ponder than that illusive ideal of 'hero'? My friend Jessica and I have been going back and forth about heroes, particularly those great heroes of film and literature that we all love to adore. From this, she had the brilliant idea to create a 'series' of sorts, wherein we, with the additional insight of Nancy, look at these heroes. Why are they heroes? Why do we love them? What do they mean to us individually? What do they represent to us as a generation? We all agree that we are a generation in need of a Hero -- and how better to find a hero than to become better acquainted with those we use as standards. And so ... This Valentine's Day, I shall spend some quality time with Han Solo: Epic Hero, Flawed Man.

I was introduced to the amazingness of Star Wars 'late' in life - it was my freshman year of college, and there was a blizzard on the way. Mum told me to check out a stash of movies, and started rattling off these titles I'd heard mentioned but never seen. So, I grabbed A New Hope, and fell in love. Since then, I have watched the trilogy (original movies, Episodes IV-VI only, thanks), at least once a year, and fall ever more in love with Han Solo. My friends tease me about it, saying it's really young Harrison Ford I'm in love with (pointing out that I also swoon over Indiana Jones). But it's Solo, not Ford. I mean, think about it. On the most basic and elementary level, how can you not fall in love with the man who has a 7-foot-tall Wookie as best bud and back-up (and who shoots a mean crossbow), all while piloting a sweet little cookie of a ship that just happens to be the fastest in the galaxy? Be still my heart ...

... There's more to Han's hero-status than the 'package' he comes with however. Han is real. As a man? He's tremendously flawed. He's a bad boy - trouble - a smuggler with a bounty on his head and a whole herd of strange creatures hunting him down. He's proud and arrogant, and more than a little smart-mouthed at times. He's makes no effort to hide that he's joined the adventure in A New Hope solely for the money. At first, you wouldn't think he has a heart or is capable of any feeling other than saving his own skin - excepting of course Chewie and the Falcon. So why on earth is he heroic? Because he changes. Or rather, the rough outer layers peel back and you can see the Man behind the exterior.

All the qualities (or lack thereof) that make Han the bad boy smuggler also make him the epic hero: He's stubbornly dedicated once he sets his mind (or heart?) on something. He speaks his mind, he doesn't hold back. What you see is what you get - there's not really a looming mystery about him. Once he starts to 'open up' and break away from the bad boy persona he's embraced for ages, there's a sense of loyalty and justice, courage and leadership. He's still a little rough-and-tumble, he's not got polished grace or banquet manners, but he's real.

Han sums up himself as hero the best, talking to Leia in The Empire Strikes Back:

"You like me because I'm a scoundrel."

It's the scoundrel, flawed man who both knows his weaknesses and strives to better his strengths that makes Han so epic ... He doesn't change, not at heart, so it's not one of those "find a bad boy and make him an angel"-type things. It's a "I make you think I'm a bad boy, because I've not found someone - or something - to make me believe myself a hero"-type thing. And that, my friends, is why I love Han. He's far from perfect, he makes some pretty stupid decisions/statements at times, but he is what and who he is. (And the sweet ship helps too).

For more Valentine's reading: Jessica's covering Superman and Nancy is featuring Darcy! Eek! Such an abundance of heroism on this Love Day!